Critical Mass

A “different” review of rambles and shenanigans, I got a sample but it gets 5.25/5 – big points! Ordering an oz!

I woke up in an eerie silence looking at a note from my girlfriend “the power will be out 9-5.” God damnit, all I could think of is the movie A Christmas Story when the one mother told the other over the phone what her kid said and she was like “WHAAT?!?!, WWHAAAAAT?!?!!”. What the hell am I supposed to do? Type a weed review on my phone? Yeah, since my WD package came minutes later, thank god I intuively wake up when the mailman arrives. The mailman is so used to delivering packages he just chucks it up my flight of stairs to me now, yeah he’s cool. There’s literally nothing I can do but smoke weed, read, type and complain. Time is crawling, all I can hear is the growing high pitched nothingness of absolute silence with a ticking clock on the wall to remind me just the full length of one second. Just an hour ago it was noon and now it’s 12:28pm. I can’t win. I’m de-evolving as we speak, my mind clinging to thirst quenched, specially cast steel and the harvest before it rains. My last memory cells reaching for Game of Thrones badassery and survival skills. I shall hunt myself a mighty boar, grilled how I want it, damnit, with a golden ring sitting atop and all will kneel to the one true king of WesterWelland…….. the Burger King. Afterall, weednter is coming.

… but where is MY justice, your grace? You take from me 8 hours worth of priceless electricity only so that approximately 100 people can live across the street in a new apartment and possibly us?! How DARE you.

We installed two air conditioners only yesterday and now my cats have started looking like overheated lions in the Sahara with their mouths hanging open. You don’t scare me, false lion! One’s a charming Scorpio but he can be legit terrifying on a dime, my sweet upside down prince . I also went to Hortons and got my neighbour coffee for some reason. We never talk but weed makes people nicer.

Who’s on first? Critical Mass. I was checking you out last night, wanted to take you home too. Luckily you came in the morning leaving me without a dry spell. Harr harr. This stuff smells instantly nose-grabbing. In a few words… it smells like I was beaten over the head with a sweet ripe grapefruit. It doesn’t end there, other subtle notes of grass and citrus hidden. The scent isn’t a me-thing but this is incredibly fruity-citrus, a high-end aroma. Stickier than “decent” and firm as heck, the buds grew longer than fatter, a little narrow, like a finger with a wide elbow/middle.

Without power, without coffee, without morning torque. I’m going to hit this and go get Hortons. Couple bong hits later, exhale tasting woody, effects took 20 seconds. Rather smooth for my first toke of the morning, I coughed, however very controllably. So immediately after the first bowl my dumb ass went and tried to turn the lights on LOL.

After coughing all I can think here is something I’ve not actually mentioned in this way before: I’m SO fucking high, holy smokes.

I drove to Hortons and was just fine, no paranoia, however, for anyone that’ll differ. I couldn’t imagine my girlfriend feeling sober enough to even buy Pepsi at the corner store without making me come with her to do all the eye contact. I don’t know what ratio it is but it’s indica leaning. There’s a mood boost. It’s very similar to Cali Sour Diesel – a pleasant blanket of indica comfort. Being out and about for 1.5 hours the high has dwindled to something much more faint, not a burn out but a mellow, fading body.

I love it. Not dig it, I love it.

I was bored so I rolled my neighbour a doob of Mataro blue, knowing he doesn’t like weed because it F’s him up. I told him it’s for people who don’t like weed. He still passed, good for him. My other neighbour will smoke this, I think to myself. I throw a doob in a glass jar along with 2 filters, 2 WD papers and a gram and knock on his door. I ask for only 3-5 sentences in return. He knocked 2 hours later. He hands me a written note, perfectly describing Mataro Blue as if it were my own words; I like this. This tells me that without a doubt I know how to properly gauge weed and now I’m certain he does too. He shall be my weed guinea pig hence forth.

I have lots of patience even being a Sagittarius; I once patiently sat in my car for 5 hours because I was angry. I wasn’t plotting or something, I was stealing wifi but the principal stands.

Just when things are clearing up at road side around 2pm a then too-tall truck drives underneath these low hanging live wires from poles, they hook on the truck and get ripped off, hanging all over the street. Somehow the power was back on half an hour later and I can now resume my life oh my freaking god.